Monday, April 26, 2010

If vampires were in fact real I would most definitely be the first person to be killed.

A few years ago I was a Buffy fan. Angel with a soul very dreamy.
Now it's all about twilight. Edward with a conscience also dreamy.

I have read the books and seen the movies. Once each. I'm not a hater nor am I a "twi-hard" who is obsessed with every little thing about the books/ movies/ actors etc.
I think Robert Patinson (or however you spell it) is hideous. But if you do give the books a chance it is really just a love story about a dreamy character in Edward. It's a bit of fun, escape from reality. I'm 20, the character is 17. Not too bad to get slightly lost in a fantasy.
These 40-50 year old mothers are another story though! Jacob taking his shirt off and you gasp and woo. He could literally be your son. Pedos.

Anyway I am not hear to argue for or against twilight and there are numerous places where you can go vent your spleen if you feel the need. All I will say is diamonds ARE a girls best friend. Also has anyone else picked up on the overuse of the word "glowered" in the books? Bit odd if everyone in that town walks around with a glower on their face. In my mind this is a glower:


If vampires really did exist I would definitely be the first to go. I am constantly getting bitten by mosquito's and fleas when my pets get them. Thankfully I do not live in a country where malaria is a threat as I would have meant my demise many years ago. I can sit outside with a bunch of friends and I will be the only one who gets bitten. And bitten over and over again ending the night with up to 20 bites on one leg.
So you can see my worry if vampires come to fruition. I am clearly delicious. If Bella is appealing to Edward, and I am appealing to mosquito's I must be exponentially more appealing to vampires!

I also have a heart problem. My resting heart rate is 100bpm it should be about 60bpm. This isn't because I am obese or unfit it is just a heart problem. I choose to look at it in the positive.
The way I see it, your heart beats 60 times. Your heart is lazy, sitting on the couch with chip and chocolate wrappers scattered on the floor.


My heart is on the treadmill running 24/7.


Whose better off really?

The pounding of my heart would probably act as some kind of tracker for vampires to lead them to the best tasting blood around.

I also blush really easily, in case the vampire was deaf they would be able to clearly see who had the best blood from my red checks from having an attractive guy walk past.

Luckily vampires probably don't exist. I just have to worry about mosquito's if I ever go to a third world country... and leeches...

1 comment:

Hello commenters of the world.
Feel free to speak your mind and have some fun with me. I'll try write back where I can.
Decent humans only though- no abuse! If you don't fit this criteria I probably don't need you reading my blog anyway!